same-old-same-old

Father,
Today everything seems a little paler, a little grayer. No amount of pulling myself up by my bootstraps will make seem right. I really just get tired of things just not going quite right. I am not dissatisfied, don't get me wrong. I have been satisfied by you too many times to think that you aren't FOR me. You are great, and I have no complaints against you. The problem is me. I feel discouraged, listless, and I just can't afford to feel like that. I need to be positive, act decisively, create an aura of confidence in my clients. But the truth is that I have little confidence. Only you can sell this Town House, father. I am sacrificing ALL my commission so that the first sale will go through, but even that is no guarantee. I just don't have the strength. What is it Lord? Why do I feel so low? If I felt well and positive, then I wouldn't be daunted by this setback. So where do I get this internal completeness form that I lack?

I need it from you, Lord. I need you to make me feel like I can do anything. I know your word says that I can do all things through Christ Jesus that gives me strength. (Phil 4.13) But will the strength come as I do it, or will I feel stronger after I have done it and it has worked?

M. Scott Peck says that life is hard. So does John Eldredge. John goes further to say that "The glory of God is man fully alive". God, let your Kingdom come then and let your glory come. Let me be fully alive. Right now I feel fully zombie.