foolishness

My Dear Father

I have typically started the day in a way that will make it difficult to cope and recapture those few precious moments that I lost when I woke up. I am sorry. Now the day is upon me and I and constrained to dial down in a way that is much harder. Still I want to put aside all that hampers me and breathe you in and be with you because my life depends on it. There is no way fro me to function without it. You remain my lifeline, my reason for living and when I don’t connect with that loving embrace, I am poorer by an inestimable amount.

So I call you Father. I unite myself with your presence. You are overwhelmingly loving. You are so there. Your presence is my heart, my soul, my reason for being. Your love is the air that I breathe and if I don’t breathe you then I suffocate and no wonder I flail and struggle against annihilation because by my own omission I am in danger of dying. Lord, as I nudge outwards, looking backwards to the last moment I knew your presence, I I ask that you make it easier for me to find you. I set aside my fears – no! I do not. I confess my inadequate heart and it’s paralyzing fear to you and ask you to be in my moment. Yahweh! The eternal I Am. You are. Here. Now.

In this moment I choose to embrace your love. Let your peace engulf me, my redeemer. My saviour. You fetch me from the plains of indifference, where I numb my heart and dumb down my responses not to be overtaken by overwhelming terror. In you and you alone I am safe.