Alone at Last!

Well, the title sounds as if I am happy but I am not happy...! Saying goodbye at the airport was ok but then the moment came and J and I were finally on our own. The next three weeks lie like a wasteland before me and I will have to be careful not let it get me down. I really feel sorry for singles but I don’t' think they feel it like married people who have had time to get used to never being alone.

Being alone is not a bad thing. The problem is that we have to face our own thoughts and all the little splits show up and we find out what really lurks in the silt of our subconscious. Having a totally dependent little disabled boy to look after makes it a bit better and a bit worse. I cannot just decide to get into my car and go and visit somebody because it is a major schlep of getting food and nappies and whatever together. On the other hand at least it is one little link to "normality" which will hopeful protect me from going over the edge.

Preaching today was interesting. It was hard preaching about worship. I had it all prepared but I was not sure that people were ready to hear what I had to say. Plus I am so pathetic myself that I am never sure about the quality and validity of what I have to say until somebody tells me it was ok. There were some who did say it was good, but hey, I even doubt that because I am so insecure. That is what this blog is about. To say those things which I normally wouldn't let anybody know. The bottom line is that many people actually were able to come and worship with a little more freedom, I think.