meditation

from the Jesuit Site "Sacred Space" (link in the bar to the right)

The Presence of God

God is with me, but more, God is within me.
Let me dwell for a moment on God's life-giving presence
in my body, in my mind, in my heart,
as I sit here, right now.

ME...

Let me just allow that thought to penetrate my heart... when you said "you are my son, today have I begotten you" you meant me as well. I am you handiwork, I am your labour of love. love conceived of such a thing as me, love gave me life. I am no accident. I am your idea, and you wanted me to be. then, more, you came to me and settled in me like a dove in a nest. contented, you live in temple you created, you dwell there, me, your dwelling-place.

I receive you... or, a prepare myself to know that tender fact. God most high, you love me and you have loved me since always. AND I PRAISE YOU! you are all to me. my heart is slowly warmed into life by your presence. worship rolls from my tongue. slowly I thaw and am able to be freely who I am meant to be.

Worship Oh my heart,
worhip oh my soul.
worship every part of me
I call you Lord!
Keeper
Comforter
Comrade.
Hallelujah!

Freedom

I need to close out the noise, to rise above the noise;
The noise that interrupts, that separates,
The noise that isolates.
I need to listen to God again.

ME

My thoughts jabber and chat
you DID this, you ARE that
”SILENCE!” you command

submission

I float upwards into your loving arms.
put my head upon your godly breast
only the steady rhythm of your loving heart
creator's core
stills my empty mutterings

"whom will you hear?
the one who gave you life
and calls you forth into LIFE
Or the one who has resolved to drown me out
pretending to be your very own thoughts?
Find your hear in ME
here you are yourself...
cradled in my heart
creator-companion...
ever-safe
ever-loved
ever-you and ever-me
together..."

Consciousness

In God's loving presence I unwind the past day,
starting from now and looking back, moment by moment.
I gather in all the goodness and light, in gratitude.
I attend to the shadows and what they say to me,
seeking healing, courage, forgiveness.

ME...

"shameful, self-seeking
self-satisfying"
the first thoughts jump into my mind.
father I lay them down...
efforts to slake my thirst at polluted pools
heal my heart
invade the shadows,
invade my heart
heal the shadows
light me up
like a mountain sunrise
manifest your life in me.

you have also made me know
how small the fragments of my soul are strewn
across the desolation of my life's landscape
little bits weeping
wailing the loss of feeling
a solemn sacrifice to survival
help me gather them up
help me collect the shards of shattered self...
presenting them to you
I FEEL
I WEEP
I COALESCE
INTO ONE TREMBLING MASS
OF MELTING ME
how I have been abandoned
how I have been left on the heaps of life
scraps to feed me
careless nourishment for a hungry soul.
feed me father
feed me.
I eat of you
I feast on you
sustain me with your sacrifice
for me
for me
for me

now wash me clean
as I once was discarded
I now discard redundancy
tenderly...
that cloak of shameful agreement
wash me
wash me...
your child.

The Word
God speaks to each one of us individually. I need to listen
to hear what he is saying to me. Read the text a few times, then listen.

---

Genesis 46:1-7; 28-30

When Israel set out on his journey with all that he had and came to Beer-sheba, he offered sacrifices to the God of his father Isaac. God spoke to Israel in visions of the night, and said, "Jacob, Jacob." And he said, "Here I am." Then he said, "I am God, the God of your father; do not be afraid to go down to Egypt, for I will make of you a great nation there. I myself will go down with you to Egypt, and I will also bring you up again; and Joseph's own hand shall close your eyes." Joseph made ready his chariot and went up to meet his father Israel in Goshen. He presented himself to him, fell on his neck, and wept on his neck a good while. Israel said to Joseph, "I can die now, having seen for myself that you are still alive."

---

What are you saying to me, Lord?

ME...

What my enemy has intended for evil, you have turned to good. Sometimes it is a small consolation. Asked to sacrifice my life before I even knew I had it. Egypt is a lonely place Father. So, my abandonment and slavery have brought forth fruit, but the cost is high. I still pay it every day and will perhaps forever. But into your arms I commit myself. You were there with me it's true. You snatched me from the jaws of death...the second life better than the first. I will try and trust you Lord. You are father. the father. cover me..cleanse me...

Conversation

How has God's Word moved me? Has it left me cold?
Has it consoled me or moved me to act in a new way?
I imagine Jesus standing or sitting beside me,
I turn and share my feelings with him.

ME...

No, Jesus, you have not left me cold. I am a bit consoled a bit healed, and bit restored. I only hope that you-in-me will prevail... your/my heart... of course it will. My lover-king.
hold me please...

Conclusion

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit,
As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen.