meditation 12-7-05

The Presence of God

As I sit here at my computer, God is here.
Around me, in my sensations, in my thoughts and deep within me.
I pause for a moment, and become aware
of God's life-giving presence.

welcome jesus
it is still fresh in my memory the last time i was with you like this. i was so surprised to feel your love for me. your genuine pleasure to see me and to be with me. i let myself feel your joy. what a strange thought! glad to see me! i could get used to this!i could be changed by this! my heart is thick with something i don't recognise too well. pleasure. somebody else's pleasure. you don't need me. you just like being with me. for its own sake. i feel about a foot taller

Freedom

God is not foreign to my freedom.
Instead the Spirit breathes life into my most intimate desires,
gently nudging me towards all that is good.
I ask for the grace to let myself be enfolded by the Spirit.

the best me i can be. you want for me what i would want if i were whole. i sink back into what that would mean. you are hoping for me: that someday i may be free to experience life without fear. you are so amazing! life with you is so amazing! you are my Lord and i love it! not bending into trying to please me because you do not need my affirmation to be right. you just are because you are perfect. and within that i sink back into being in that safe place. Good God! how blessed is this moment... no guilt; you've taken care of that! no fear of the future; you've got my life and fate in your hands!only hope; i am friends with the most High! talking about friends with influence. bring out the best in me Father! i free you to be God to me.

Consciousness

How am I really feeling? Lighthearted? Heavy-hearted?
I may be very much at peace, happy to be here.
Equally, I may be frustrated, worried or angry.
I acknowledge how I really am. It is the real me that the Lord loves.

joyous! not exuberantly so, but feeling safe, peaceful. God you are so good!

The Word
I take my time to read the Word of God, slowly, a few times,
allowing myself to dwell on anything that strikes me.

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Matthew 11:20-24

Then Jesus began to reproach the cities in which most of his deeds of power had been done, because they did not repent. "Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the deeds of power done in you had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. But I tell you, on the day of judgment it will be more tolerable for Tyre and Sidon than for you. And you, Capernaum, will you be exalted to heaven? No, you will be brought down to Hades. For if the deeds of power done in you had been done in Sodom, it would have remained until this day. But I tell you that on the day of judgment it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom than for you."

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What are you saying to me, Lord?

Let me not be ignorant of your goodness Lord! Let me respond to your coaxing and your leading. I am your sheep and you are my shepherd, lead me. Let me not disdain your gentle nudging. let me not harden my heart and become numb to what you are saying to me. Come Spirit! do the work of the father in me. make me a vessel for the most High! soften me to your touch. let me tremble at even a whisper! oh blessed God...you are so amazing to me...

Conversation

Remembering that I am still in God's presence,
I imagine Jesus himself standing or sitting beside me,
and say whatever is on my mind, whatever is in my heart,
speaking as one friend to another.

don't leave me jesus, i love to be with you. i really want to practise your presence more and more. i want to be living out of you. out of your love and the joy of being loved: please let me not forget this...drench me with your presence. I LOVE YOU! this is the best place HALLELUJAH!

Conclusion

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit,
As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be,
world without end. AMEN